THINGS YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A TRUMPET PLAYER SAY
"Sorry, that adlib solo was way too over the top. I'll take it down a notch next time."
"I was playing too loud." "Sorry, it was me that was off-tempo." "I make plenty of money!"
"I'm not good enough to play first. Is it ok if I sit in the fourth chair?"
"He's a much better a trumpet player than I am." "I can't decide between the Ferrari and the Mercedes."
"Man, your solo was great. I'm glad I didn't have to do it. It wouldn't have sounded as good."
"The last measure says '8va' but I'd prefer to play it down an octave."
"I only need one trumpet." "I use my E-flat/D all the time!" "I need to tune up."
"I play a trumpet based on my needs, rather than the kind Wayne Bergeron plays."
"All you need is a good 'D'. Anything higher than that is just screeching."
"Excuse me. Can you ask the clarinet section to play louder? We can't hear them."
"That was a beautiful flute solo!" "I really wish I had learned to play the oboe instead."
"I have a solo coming up, but I'd rather the sax take it." "I play much better when I'm sober."
"I didn't like the way Miles played that." "Haydn wrote a trumpet Concerto?" "Maynard who?"
"There's nothing like a good marimba concert." "My schedule is so busy, I have to turn down gigs."
"They served free drinks at the gig, but I never drank any." "Finally! A nice quiet slow passage!"
"I turned that down. They offered me too much money." "Man, the women just won't leave me alone."
"I tried out for that, but I was rejected because I just wasn't good enough." "Triple-C? Who cares?"
"Kenny G? He's a genius. I have all his albums." "So many girlfriends. I have trouble keeping up with them."
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